My Name Is Dean Winchester
by giacinta
Summary: Companion piece to 'My Name Is Sam Winchester'. Dean shares some of his thoughts.


My Name Is Dean Winchester.

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Companion piece to 'My Name Is Sam Winchester.'

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I knew when I walked in the door that I would still find him hunched over the computer. The kid has nothing else in his life except his lap-top, hunting and well…, me.

The name's Winchester, Dean Winchester and the overgrown Sasquatch sitting at the table is my little brother Sammy.

I nearly always burst through the door hoping to catch the little geek surfing porn or at least getting up to something that I can tease him about. My kid brother has the most beautiful smile on the planet, next to my own of course, but he never gets a chance to unleash it 'cos our lives are just that crappy!

There he goes closing down the page, but I got in a quick look and it definitely wasn't porn. It seemed like text; he's probably writing his memoirs or a journal or something equally girlie. Whatever it is, it's definitely off-limits to me.

He's always been a deep little squirt; good job I can read him like a book. He doesn't look too well either; he must be coming down with the 'flu or whatever.

X

I throw the supplies down on the table. Sometimes Sam's worse than a toddler and I still have to think up ways to make him eat. It's amazing how he manages to drag that oversized body of his around with the scarce amount of food he fills it with.

Okay, I know he's a grown man and that I completely overreact when it concerns him, but you gotta understand that I raised him and I can't help it if my 'mothering' instincts still break out. Looking out for him is hi-wired into me.

I'm on a roll today, don't know why but maybe it's because yesterday we killed a couple of ghouls and saved a kid, an only child at that, so my feel good factor is still on a high.

X

"I'm cooking tonight, Sammy," I say smirking. "Spaghetti Bolognese with added mushrooms and a side plate of healthy rabbit food."

The look on Sam's face was payment enough as he goggled at me with those ridiculous puppy eyes of his.

Thing is when I was with Lisa and Ben I picked up few tips, even although my speciality remains bacon, eggs and hamburgers.

X

I have to say it was delicious and Sam even complimented me on my cooking. I had bought a bottle of half-decent wine to wash it down and of course some pie.

There's no way I trust Sammy with the important job of getting me pie, memory of the time I once sent him for some and ended up cradling him as he died in my arms, so I prefer going myself.

For some reason the wine and good food had a drowsy effect on the little geek, so when he fell asleep next to me on the room's little couch, his head slipping to the side and ending up leaning on me, I didn't shrug him off. The heavy weight on my shoulder gave me a strange sense of comfort, like a ginormous teddy-bear.

I put a hand to his fore-head; it was hot. I knew it; my instincts are never wrong as far as Sam is concerned. I had already noticed he was looking a little peaky but he seemed relaxed enough so I went back to watching the antediluvian western on TV.

X

I sometimes wonder what my life would have been like without Sammy. The sensation that comes to me is of absolute loneliness. Oh, don't get me wrong, he can be a friggin' pain in the ass sometimes but I just can't imagine him not being part of my life.

He was such a sweet kid too until he became a teen. Man did he turn moody all of a sudden. He started to talk about us going off together and leaving the life. Going to College; forgetting about hunting and revenge.

I have to be honest and say that at times I was tempted but when I thought of Dad, I just couldn't leave him to hunt alone.

When Sam did go off to Stanford I was shattered but in a way I was happy that at least my little brother was out of danger. Yeah, well, look how **_that_** turned out!

X

Looking back though, I have to say that Dad didn't have as many qualms about leaving me. Many's the time I tried to get hold of him for something urgent and he never bothered returning my calls.

I know that Sam is still pissed at him for not answering his desperate pleas when I was dying. If he hadn't dragged me to that Faith Healer years ago, I'd probably have ended up haunting Sammy's ass as a ghost 'cos there's no way I'd have gone off with a reaper and left him on his own, even although Tessa once had me pretty well convinced.

X

Sam has a memory to equal that of the lap-top he loves so much, and he doesn't easily forgive those who hurt me.

He might have soulful puppy eyes but he can turn into a veritable hell-hound when he thinks someone is threatening me. It works both ways, of course. Anybody sets a hand on my little brother, gets the Dean Winchester kiss of death!

We've been through so much together, good and bad; mostly bad but hey the good times make up for it all.

X

Looking out for Sammy, gave me a reason to live.

My life's not worth a cent to anyone else, just to him.

Well, I suppose Lisa loved me too in her own way but she could never have understood me like the ten ton little brother that's currently crushing my shoulder to the bone. She even told me herself in no uncertain terms, when she was under the truth spell.

"You two have the most unhealthy tangled up crazy thing I've ever seen" were her precise words and I can't say she was wrong but you know what, I'm good. If this is all I'm ever going to have, I'll settle for it.

I'm not so sure about Sam though. He's always been the white-picket fence, apple-pie life kinda guy.

X

X

Just when I thought my shoulder was going to crack, Sam pulls his head back and opens murky glazed eyes.

"Did I just fall asleep on your shoulder, Dean," he asks as if it wasn't completely obvious that he had

"That you did, Sasquatch," I answer rubbing my aching, afore-mentioned shoulder.

"Sorry," he mumbles.

"Don't be. If I'd wanted to shrug you off, I would have. I was feeling cold and you burn like a furnace, so fair exchange, dude."

X

Sam stared at me in that way he has, as if trying to look into my very soul.

"Don't ever take it away, Dean."

I stared back confused.

"Your shoulder, Dean," he repeated.

I didn't have to ask what he meant; I understood.

"I won't if you won't," I answer.

"I did once, but never again," my little brother declared and I knew those simple words held a much deeper meaning.

I inclined my head. A promise had been made, accepted and returned.

I wasn't going anywhere and neither was Sam.

"Come on Sammy. Time for meds and sleep, " I ordered as Sam let himself be man handled towards his bed.

X

XXXX The enD XXXX.

"


End file.
